ready, set, don't go

Recently I've been thinking about this a lot, what being an adult means.

I became an adult officially not too long ago. Officially, physically perhaps, but not mentally. I thought about it when I was a child, clueless about the world, what is an adult, exactly? I used to think adults are cool. They get to stand on their own feet, free to do what they want. But growing up means learning that what we see isn't quite what they are. I couldn't see the shaking of their legs, afraid of the world, scared of the harsh reality. I couldn't see the doubts in their mind, the hesitation, the expectations they fight so hard to meet.

You see, I grew up watching, reading and hearing a lot of stories. I guess you can say in a way I get to experience many things through the eyes of the characters I grew to like and loath. It did help me in some ways, I suppose.

Lately I've been watching this certain drama where this certain girl, so stubborn and egoistical, learns to do things that she hates doing. She is forced to face her childhood nightmare that she grew up fighting to be free from, to stop always wanting to do things her own ways, and to do things for others. I relate to her in some ways, mostly being strong-headed and prideful myself, and through her I learn to lower my own ego. And funnily, some time ago I learned that sometimes you just need to be honest and say embarrassing things so people can understand how you feel.

Through someone else I learned the importance of letting go. That your life doesn't resolve around one particular thing or person, and that as difficult as it is you just have to move on. Through her I learned that giving up is always a bad thing. Broken branches need to be removed so that a new one can grow. An unreachable dream doesn't always have to hurt, and hurtful experiences are there to remind you of how much you've grown.

Of course, there are other things but I can't list down everything.

By now you've probably grown tired of this saying, but growing up is indeed a process of learning. Honestly I enjoy experiences more than knowledge you get from text books and lectures. As weird and maybe worrisome as it sounds, I like the raw feelings of getting your heart broken, dreams crushed, the whole world crashing down on you, because without them you'd never truly understand happiness.

I got to know this beautiful poem from a drama I really love, and I think it's a good way to end this post.

"Without being shaken up, Where is the flower that blooms?
In this world, even the beautiful flower blooms because it got shaken up. While it is shaken up, the stem becomes straightened. Without being shaken up, where is the love that is possible ?

A flower without getting rained on.. where is it? In this world, even the most beautiful flower, has been rained on... and rained on and bloomed. Getting wet from the rain and wind, the flower blooms warmly. 

A life without getting rained on, where is it?"